Don't feel like that!

Let me start out by saying, parenting is tough and I do not have all of the answers. No one does. But this is something that I know and I know for sure. If you invalidate your child it will create big problems for them as adolescents and even more problems as adults. When I say invalidate, I mean making your child doubt their gut feelings. Gut feelings are protective factors for children. Gut feelings let them know, before they have all of the words adults do, that something is wrong. Parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, all of you...don't strip the children you care for of their instinct. This can make them vulnerable for all types of abuse. For example, if a child says "I'm scared" stop yourself from saying "no you're not!". If your child says, "I'm cold", bite your tongue before saying "It's not cold!". I could go on and on with examples but you get my point. These are very mild forms of invalidation but a pattern of responses like these could create serious problems such as low self esteem, self doubt, depression, anxiety, mood swings, suggestibility, and a victim mentality. Validate your children by using gray areas and by acknowledging their feelings. "Mommy I'm scared to go to school." "Yes, new things can be scary and I know that you are brave!" Try it (validation) and let me know what happens.

Are you unknowingly helping child predators?

I saw a post on Facebook where a proud parent was trying to decide which personalized items to use for their family trip to the beach. As beautiful and creative as the beach towels and other items were, I couldn't help but to cringe. The small hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I thought how easy it would be for a predator to lure a child in by knowing their first name. Imagine this, your child wanders off for 30 seconds while looking for seashells on the beach and a "nice man" says "Hey Susie, your mom told me to give you these seashells I just found, let me show you where they are." Just by knowing a child's name or even nickname, a predator has found an easy way in. Remember child predators aren't the stereotypical weirdos wearing a trench coat on the beach. They look like you, and me, and favorite uncle whomever. They are cunning, confident, and charismatic. Please be smarter than the predator. Awareness is the first step. For more ways on how to prevent child sexual abuse, call 678-973-2491 and register for a nationally certified training.